Tanker fra en Totum kropsterapeut:
På Hold 14 repeterede vi i går, hvordan forsvarsmønstre kan vise sig i en behandling.
Det er en fantastisk ting at være med til at undervise, og der springer mange ting i øjnene, som giver stof til eftertanke.
Vores forsvarsmønstre er de overlevelsesmekanismer, vi bruger for at beskytte vores sårbarhed. Eller det, vi er bange for skal gøre os uelskelige. Så vi joker det væk eller sender andre en kold skulder, så de ikke kommer for tæt på. Lyver, bliver vrede eller indtager offerrollen.
Men når forsvaret dukker op, er det fordi, vi føler os truede. Så hvad har vi egentlig brug for i det øjeblik?
Ofte sker der det, at vi reagerer på hinandens forsvarsmønstre med forsvar. Sætter hårdt mod hårdt. Frygt mod frygt. Og så forstærker vi blot hinandens forsvarsværker.
Men måske har vi egentlig bare brug for at vide, at vi er okay. Elskede. Set.
Jeg var engang på et kursus i Amsterdam, hvor jeg følte mig helt malplaceret og fuldstændig uduelig og uværdig. Jeg reagerede – som jeg typisk gør – ved at trække mig og lukke mig inde i mig selv.
En dag kom én af lederne af kurset hen til mig og sagde: “I fucking see you, Daniel. I fucking see you!” Han sagde det sådan. Uden omsvøb. “Jeg ser dig!”
Det er noget af det stærkeste, jeg har oplevet. Og jeg glemmer det aldrig. I det øjeblik følte jeg mig TOTALT værdig og som en del af gruppen. Der var slet ikke brug for mine forsvar.
SÅ MIT SPØRGSMÅL TIL DIG ER:
Hvor kan du bryde igennem et forsvar med kærlighed? Med rummelighed.
Hvem holder dig på afstand for at passe på sig selv? Og hvordan kan du lade dem vide, at du ser dem alligevel?
Nogle gange er det alt, der skal til. At vide at man er SET.
Daniel
Hjælpelærer Hold 14
P.S.:
Hvis du nogensinde har haft en lignende oplevelse med én, der gennembrød dit forsvar med kærlighed – så del den gerne herunder som inspiration for os andre!
Del det også, hvis du har ideer til, hvad der egentlig får mennesker til at føle sig set!
28 kommentarer til “DAGBOG FRA UDDANNELSEN: Om forsvarsmønstre”
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